Well, I'm 40... Now What?

It happened. I thought I was prepared. I thought, "I'm going to be more brave. More courageous. More attentive. More... something. 

I need to lose weight. I need to exercise more. I need to quit needing so much. I need to get it. I need to get the passion to get healthy and lose weight. It should be a drive toward, not a cower down outlook. 

As far back as I can remember, I nearly always detested birthdays. Not because they weren't special. Other kids my age were having wonderful parties with their friends. Sometimes I was invited... sometimes I wasn't. But more than anything, they were a reminder for me that youth is a fleeting thing. Even by age 15, I was no longer impressed with the cake and ice cream, streamers and party hats. I'd much rather have chilled with my grandma and watched a rodeo on the television. Or maybe visited a flea market and spend a few bucks on something we certainly didn't need, but wanted nevertheless. 

Even now, it is difficult for me to write this because it forces tears to well up. One thought more and they will surely cascade down my cheeks. But I feel it pressed to keep going, so here it is. The down and dirty  skinny on turning 40. 

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