Above all else

When days turn into weeks, and months into years, we seldom remember the important moments in life that matter. Friendship is certainly one of those important moments that must be nurtured, encouraged and appreciated. Over the years, I've lost touch with so many of the people I once knew. More recently, a friendship that developed was treated wrongly by me because life happens. But that is still no excuse for the way I disrespected my friend, however unintentional. 

When life happens, we forget. When kids begin fighting, we forget. When things happen that are beyond the norm, we forget. And as difficult as it is for me to carry those issues with me and discuss them with my friends, I have realized that what is going on in my life at that particular moment may be easier understood by taking a moment and just putting them on the back burner to recognize that friendship and birthdays are just as important. 

My dear friend Rena, whom I have come to know and love, had a birthday recently. And because I was so consumed with my ordeals, I failed to even walk across the yard and wish her a happy birthday, ask how her day was going, or even make her a birthday card. 

I feel like a failure at friendship. In the past, I would often equate ending friendships as being "their fault", not mine. But I have began to recognize that I am the reason why some of those friendships failed. 

To Rena, may you know that you have been a beacon of light in helping me to realize that I am just as responsible for nurturing a friendship as the other person. You've also helped me to become a better person by acknowledging my faults. It was your birthday, and I missed the opportunity to share it with you because of my own problems. But, above all else, know that I am sincerely apologetic and hope that this small blemish can be erased in time and that you will still cherish our friendship in the light that you always have, and know that I will as well!